The Greatest Light
One second before they break the glass, it’s on the level of going into the Holy of Holies.
“Ohel” [tent], comes from the word light. The world always thinks that light is when everybody can see it. The greatest light is to be alone with another human being, when nobody can see it. “Mah tovu ohalecha Yaakov” [How good are your tents, Jacob].
In Hebrew there are two words, “koach” and “gevura.” Our holy Rabbis teach us: “koach,” just strength, physical strength, is measured by how much you can kill people, how much you can destroy them. “Gevura” is measured by how much you can bring back to life. We say, “Atah gibor l’olam HaShem, mechaye meisim atah” [You bring life back to the dead! Ribbono Shel Olam, You are mamash strong].
You need a little strength to break the glass. But I don’t want you to do it with koach, I want you to do it with gevurah.
You know what you promise your holy wife? Whenever you are sad, I’ll bring you back to life. And both of you promise your children; whenever they are crying, whenever they are sad, you will bring them back to life.
One Second of not Caring can Destroy a Marriage
If someone lives in the subway, and someone tells them I just lost my house, they say, OK, I also live in the subway. As long as you are not married, I can tell you the Holy Temple is destroyed, and you don’t even know what it means.
Ah, you are building your own house. Gd gives you a house. And suddenly you remember, gevalt, the House of all of Israel is destroyed. Yea, we have houses everywhere, but a real house….
And this is a Torah from all the Rebbes. How much does it take to break a glass? One little hit, right? You know how long it takes to destroy the Holy Temple? One wrong move. You know how long it takes to destroy a marriage? One wrong move. One second of not caring. One second not loving each other. So we just remind you now of the Churban Bais HaMikdash. [The destruction of the Holy Temple].
What Do You Do when You Make a Mistake?
What are you going to do when you make a mistake in your marriage? We’re just human beings. Imagine, Gd forbid, your wife does something wrong. What are you going to do? You know what you are supposed to do? You have to yell, “Mazal Tov!” Master of the World, how could I ever thank You for giving me such a beautiful wife? Not only is she good, she is also making mistakes! Gevalt. What a privilege, right? Because if she would not make mistakes, she would not be from this world. Would you like to be married to a girl from outer space?… unless you go to the movies all the time. I hope not.
I had an uncle. He was maybe overdoing it, but this is what he did. One time, one of his little kids pulled the tablecloth and broke all the dishes. I hate to say bad things but my aunt really wanted to get very angry at the child. So my holy uncle says, “Wait, wait, wait, wait. You want to yell, give me a chance first. First let me kiss this child.” He said, “Oy, I’m so glad you are so strong to be able to break all the dishes. What a gevalt little Yiddele, he already has the strength to break dishes.” Gevalt!
You know what you are telling Gd? Why did You destroy the Holy Temple? Because we made mistakes. But you say, “Master of the world, look at the way I treat my wife, the way my wife treats me. We make mistakes all the time, yet we still love each other the same.” So you have a strong claim to Gd. A strong claim.
We bless you to be the most, most, most loving couple in the world.
Sticking it Out Forever
“Yotzer Adam” [Blessed are You Gd… Creator of man] – Why are we saying it under the chuppah? Why don’t you say it when a child is born? Sadly enough, we are living in a world where everything passes. Sadly enough, since we ate from the Tree of Knowledge, everything passes. Today you are here, tomorrow you are there. Today you love somebody, tomorrow you don’t remember their name. But this is not the way Gd wants a human being to be. You can make it in the world being that kind of a sad, broken human being; but under the chuppah, for the first time, Gd gives you a taste of what it is to be really with somebody forever and ever. Never to die. And you know what you do? You take a glass. According to the world, when you break a glass, it’s over, right? But you know what you are telling the Kallah? Not us, not us. The whole world can break, but you and I, we’re sticking it out forever, forever and ever.
You know why Yerushalayim was destroyed? Because, sadly enough, people hated each other. Whom do you hate? You loved them yesterday. How come you hate them today? You say, “Okay, yesterday I loved you, today I hate you.” People who are real human beings, how can you…. If you loved somebody, how can you ever hate them? And let’s put it this way: Every human being, the first time you meet them, you have nothing against them, right? So you love them. Then why do you hate them after that? Because it dies.
So, Chosson and Kallah, I want you to swear to each other. We are living in a world with a lot of broken glasses, broken homes, broken windows, broken doors, broken children, broken Yiddishkeit [Judaism]. I want to bless you that you should be the ones to rebuild Yerushalayim, because Yerushalayim is only rebuilt by people who can take a broken glass, and build the holy Temple from it. Now Chosson, give me your hand, Kallah, give me your hand… mamash, I want you to promise each other, mamash, I want you to swear to each other, that you will mamash love each other, always. There is nothing in the world, nothing in the world….
A Taste of the All
This is a Socachover Torah. I know, Boruch HaShem, both of you are so much into learning. I’m sure that both of you have heard of the Kotzker Rebbe. How can you be Jewish without the Kotzker Rebbe, right? Gevalt! His son-in-law, the Socachover, says something like this: Until you are married, you are a private person. Suddenly, when you get married, two souls together, for the first time you get a taste of all of Israel, of the All. And you know, maybe until you get married, you don’t know how to build Yerushalayim, because you are just a private little Jew. But the moment you get married, it is clear to you – you know what all of Israel needs. We need to get together again. You know what a building is? Stones, together. What is one stone? Nothing. Stones together – the most beautiful building. What’s the Holy Wall? What is the Holy Temple? Little stones. You put them together – it’s so beautiful. You know, Gd took you two stones and put them together. Let it be the beginning of the Holy Temple, of the Holy of Holiest. Lets sing Uvnei Yerushalayim [And rebuild Jerusalem] one more time…. MAZAL TOV, MAZAL TOV.
If You Break a Glass, Your Soulmate will Fix It
Now listen to me, Chosson and Kallah. Do you know how easy it is to tear people apart? So easy, so easy. How much did it take for the snake to get Adam out of Paradise? One apple! It took Eve one second to eat it, right? It takes so long to rebuild the world. You know the Medrash says it took Gd six days to build the world. But it takes a second, chas veshalom [Gd forbid], to destroy the world. So we bless you, mamash, we bless you that from now on, everything you do should just be rebuilding. “Uvnei Yerushalayim ir haKodesh” [And rebuild Jerusalem the holy city]. Everything you do should give each other more strength and more holiness.
And one other thing: Whenever, Gd forbid, you break a little glass, tell your soulmate right on the spot. Because right now, you are Rebbes to each other, you know, not only are you rebuilding the holy Temple together. You know why you break a glass under the chuppah? Gd lets you know that, even if you sometimes break a glass, don’t worry, your soulmate will fix it.
You know, friends, I want to bless you and all the couples all over the world. We don’t have the faintest idea what a husband and wife can do for each other. It’s so deep, it’s the highest, the holiest, the loftiest. I want to bless you, Chosson and Kallah. I want to bless you, that you should teach the world what people can do for each other in the deepest, holiest way.
Besides loving each other and being one, you are also two. Everybody has their talents. The worst thing is if one of you thinks, I’m better than the other one.
So you promise each other that you’ll always be the same. As much as everybody has their own talent, but we’re mamash the same. Whatever I have belongs to you also.