Category Archives: Shlomo Carlebach

   The previous Lubavitcher Rebbe visited a city in Russia. There he saw old Chassidim with long beards cleaning a house. He asked them, “What are you doing?”

They said, “Tonight the holy Rabbi of Tolna is coming so we are cleaning the house.”

He said, “Where are your children? Why don’t they do it?”

They answered, “We wouldn’t let the children do it, it’s such a big honor.”

He said, “That is exactly why you should let your children do it.”

The Rebbe later wrote in a letter, “I hope I am wrong, but I very much doubt that their children are still Chassidim.”

Fathers and mothers, when you put your children to sleep at night, don’t just tell them to believe in GYd. Give them a taste of how much GYd believes in them. Give them a taste of how much the world needs every child.

When children call their parents in the middle of the night, they just cry. They don’t even call, “Mother, Father….” They just cry. How does it feel when your baby cries at night? It’s a taste of how GYd felt when the High Priest was calling His Name on Yom Kippur.

The Rabbi of Rhizin taught: Before a baby is born, while the soul is in Heaven, the baby chooses who his parents will be. He looks at all the possible parents and chooses the ones he sees love him the most. The baby sees in their eyes that they are longing for him to be their child.

There are three different levels of walking. There is walking before someone, there is walking with someone, and there is walking behind someone. Every father and mother is ready to walk before his child: “I will walk in front of you and tell you exactly what to do.” Sometimes a parent is willing to walk with the child. But to walk behind?

Unless I connect to GYd, how can I teach my children to do so? I must be connected to GYd on that deepest level, with that which is special about me. Otherwise, how can I connect my children to that part of themselves which is special? How can I help them connect that special part of themselves to GYd?

If I was the Chief Rabbi of Israel, the first thing I would establish is that yelling at your children, or at your spouse, or at anyone else would be a criminal offence.

   The Ropshitzer Rebbe returned home after giving his sermon in the synagogue. His wife asked him, “How was the sermon?” He answered, “I had a fifty percent success. I taught the importance of the rich giving charity to the poor, and I was able to convince the poor to be willing to receive it.”

     Leah, one of Rebbe Shlomo’s followers Related: We live in an avocado grove in California. The fruit is harvested by Mexican men and then brought to the market. One morning I noticed a poor Mexican man dragging himself up the road. As I watched him approach all I could hear in my head was Rebbe Shlomo saying, “The greatest thing in the world is to do someone else a favor.”

During this period the immigration service was fining growers $1,000 if they found illegal immigrants working. I went down and greeted him in Spanish, “Mister, are you hungry?”

He slowly moved his head up and with dark sunken eyes he stared at me. “Yes, I am hungry.”

“Sir, do you want to work too?” He said that he did. I showed him where to begin working and went into the house to get him some food. A few minutes later, I came back with food for him.

As I approached him I felt that I was approaching a different person. His body stance had changed, he no longer seemed to be carrying that enormous weight on his shoulders. My heart started to pound. He began to speak to me in perfect English. “I am an Immigration Officer. I was sent here to find illegals and grove owners who are employing them. You approached me with so much respect and love that I didn’t know what to do. When you asked me if I wanted anything to eat, I wanted to cry. I couldn’t fine you, yet I couldn’t go. I was going to leave before you came back, but I need to thank you for showing me so much sincere kindness and reminding me of who I am.”

There is a phrase from the Talmud: “Even if the sword is on your neck, don’t refrain from rachamim.” This is usually interpreted, “Don’t stop praying and asking GYd for compassion.” Reb Berish Aushpetziner interpreted it differently: “What do you do at the last minute if the sword is on your neck? At that moment the only thing you can do is to have compassion for somebody else. Then you open gates in Heaven for compassion, and it can come to you too.”

A person has to live in two worlds. We have to live in a world where there is evil and we are fighting it, and we have to live in a world where there is no evil like after the Mashiach has come. The highest combination of these two worlds is rachamim. This means that I can see you the way you are now, but I also know how you could be on the Mashiach level.

Charity is more than giving to the poor; you can’t live without it.

The Maharal says: A miser is not a sinner. A miser is anti–GYd. If I do a little sinning on the side, I am bad, but I am not anti–GYd. A miser is anti–GYd because GYd is giving, and the miser is not giving. 

You pray to GYd all the time. Have you ever heard GYd answer: “Listen, you prayed to me yesterday. Will you leave Me alone? Let Me go, leave Me in peace. Sometimes I need a vacation from you.”

The Alshich

I want to bless you that whenever something good and holy happens to you, it should also happen to your soulmate.  Because the saddest thing in the world is: imagine if one of you reaches a very high level, and the other one doesn’t.  It’s so heartbreaking because you can be very lonely being high.

The Holy Ari z”l and the Bais Yosef lived in Tsfat and the Holy Alshich was the shames [beadle] of the synagogue.  No one really paid that much attention to him, but he was a gevalt.  He was married by his Bar Mitzva and then, when he was fourteen, nebuch, his wife left the world.

The Holy Alshich was accustomed to waking up every night at three o’clock to learn.  While he was married, his wife would also wake up every night and give him tea.  Then, nebuch, his wife left the world.  So his mother got up.  But his mother didn’t have koach [strength], so she went to the next door neighbor, who was a water carrier.  He had a daughter, and she said to her, “I’ll pay you; can you bring my son, at three o’clock in the morning, some tea?”

The next morning, the Holy Alshich went to his mother and he said,  “Who brought me tea last night?”  She answered, “Bracha Feigel, the water carrier’s daughter.”

So he marched down to Bracha Feigela and he said to her,  “Why did you give me two glasses of tea last night?”  She said, “Because I saw you were learning with somebody.”

He said, “Gevalt!  My wife gave me tea for one year and she didn’t see Eliyahu HaNavi [Elija the Prophet].  My mother gave me tea for half a year and she didn’t see Eliyahu HaNavi.  And you, on the first night, you see Eliyahu HaNavi!  You better marry me fast!”

You know how the Holy Alshich became revealed to the world?  On Lag B’Omer the Ari z”l would go up to Meiron and dance gevalt.  Most of the time the Ari z”l would just be there by himself.  Everybody would stand in a circle, and the heilege Ari z”l would dance in the middle all by himself.  Suddenly the heilege Alshich, the shames, got up and started dancing with the Ari z”l.  A chutzpah [audacity], the Ari z”l, the Holy of Holiest, is dancing in honor of Shimon Bar Yochai, and here the shames has the chutzpah to dance also!

Before the people had a chance to tear him away, suddenly, out of nowhere, another person came that they had never seen before and also danced.  So there were already three people dancing, and the Ari z”l didn’t say anything.  Mamash dancing a gevalt.  After the dancing, the Alshich was still there and the third person disappeared.  So they asked the Ari z”l, “Really, what a chutzpah, the shames….”

He said, “Let me tell you, do you know who the third person was?  The heilege Rebbe Shimon bar Yochai.  And if the Alshich was good enough to dance with Shimon bar Yochai, he’s good enough to dance with me.”  So, from that time on, suddenly people realized that maybe the Alshich is… maybe…. The Holy Alshich is mamash gevalt!

The Angel

And now, we are coming to a very important thing;  I bless you one other thing.  I want to tell you a gevalt story now.  Listen to this.  This is in honor of your parents wherever they are.

The story is…, You know I don’t want to say anything bad, but there were some Rabbis who were so much into learning, that they didn’t know how holy their own children were.  The son of the Mezeritch Maggid, the heileger Malach, was called the Angel because he was so holy.  When he married the daughter of Reb Shalom Shachna, his father-in-law was a Misnagid.  He was sweet, he was holy, but mamash he didn’t know his own daughter.  So he sent word to the Mezeritch Maggid that he thinks it’s a waste of time to come to the wedding, because he has to learn.  Now what can you do?  His wife came back from the wedding, and she says, “Do you know how holy the wedding was?  Do you know how special it was?  Do you know that Heaven and earth were dancing?  Why didn’t you come to the wedding?  And do you know whom your daughter married?  He is an angel of all Heaven.  The world calls him Malach.”  So, she says, “I will not speak to you unless you promise me right now that next Shabbos you will go to your daughter.”

Anyway, it took him four days to walk there.  That next Friday night, he’s spending with his daughter and his son-in-law.  And I don’t have to tell you, in Mezeritch, by the Holy Malach, the davening [praying] was a gevalt, right?  Anyway, after davening, he comes home with his son-in-law, and his holy son-in-law begins to sing “Shalom Aleichem,” greeting the angels.  At that moment the father-in-law fainted.  You see, when he sang “Shalom Aleichem,” nothing happened.  Yet when his holy son-in-law began singing “Shalom Aleichem,” the room was filled with angels.  And since it was his son-in-law, he also saw them, and so he just fainted away.

So after they revived him, his son-in-law, the Holy Angel, told him, “Father-in-law, you are lucky you only saw your own angels, so you could just bear it and you fainted.  If you would have seen your daughter’s angels, you would have died instantly.”

Chosson, I want to bless your parents, that one day they should see your Kallah’s angels, and your angels and your children’s angels.  “Uvnei Yerushalayim ir hakodesh.”  “Lemikdashech tuv ulikodesh kodshim” [To Your Holy Temple return, and to the Holy of Holies].

The Greatest Light

One second before they break the glass, it’s on the level of going into the Holy of Holies.

“Ohel” [tent], comes from the word light.  The world always thinks that light is when everybody can see it.  The greatest light is to be alone with another human being, when nobody can see it.  “Mah tovu ohalecha Yaakov” [How good are your tents, Jacob].

Giving Life

In Hebrew there are two words, “koach” and “gevura.”  Our holy Rabbis teach us: “koach,” just strength, physical strength, is measured by how much you can kill people, how much you can destroy them.  “Gevura” is measured by how much you can bring back to life.  We say, “Atah gibor l’olam HaShem, mechaye meisim atah”  [You bring life back to the  dead!  Ribbono Shel Olam, You are mamash strong].

You need a little strength to break the glass.  But I don’t want you to do it with koach, I want you to do it with gevurah.

You know what you promise your holy wife?  Whenever you are sad, I’ll bring you back to life.  And both of you promise your children; whenever they are crying, whenever they are sad, you will bring them back to life.

One Second of not Caring can Destroy a Marriage

If someone lives in the subway, and someone tells them I just lost my house, they say, OK, I also live in the subway.  As long as you are not married, I can tell you the Holy Temple is destroyed, and you don’t even know what it means.

Ah, you are building your own house.  Gd gives you a house.  And suddenly you remember, gevalt, the House of all of Israel is destroyed.  Yea, we have houses everywhere, but a real house….

And this is a Torah from all the Rebbes.  How much does it take to break a glass?  One little hit, right?  You know how long it takes to destroy the Holy Temple?  One wrong move.  You know how long it takes to destroy a marriage?  One wrong move.  One second of not caring.  One second not loving each other.  So we just remind you now of the Churban Bais HaMikdash.   [The destruction of the Holy Temple].

What Do You Do when You Make a Mistake?

What are you going to do when you make a mistake in your marriage?  We’re just human beings.  Imagine, Gd forbid, your wife does something wrong.  What are you going to do?  You know what you are supposed to do?  You have to yell, “Mazal Tov!”  Master of the World, how could I ever thank You for giving me such a beautiful wife?  Not only is she good, she is also making mistakes!  Gevalt.  What a privilege, right?  Because if she would not make mistakes, she would not be from this world.  Would you like to be married to a girl from outer space?… unless you go to the movies all the time.  I hope not.

I had an uncle.  He was maybe overdoing it, but this is what he did.  One time, one of his little kids pulled the tablecloth and broke all the dishes.  I hate to say bad things but my aunt really wanted to get very angry at the child.  So my holy uncle says, “Wait, wait, wait, wait.  You want to yell, give me a chance first.  First let me kiss this child.”  He said, “Oy, I’m so glad you are so strong to be able to break all the dishes.  What a gevalt little Yiddele, he already has the strength to break dishes.”  Gevalt!

You know what you are telling Gd?  Why did You destroy the Holy Temple?  Because we made mistakes.  But you say, “Master of the world, look at the way I treat my wife, the way my wife treats me.  We make mistakes all the time, yet we still love each other the same.”  So you have a strong claim to Gd.  A strong claim.

We bless you to be the most, most, most loving couple in the world.

Mazal Tov!!

Sticking it Out Forever

“Yotzer Adam” [Blessed are You Gd... Creator of man] – Why are we saying it under the chuppah?  Why don’t you say it when a child is born?  Sadly enough, we are living in a world where everything passes.  Sadly enough, since we ate from the Tree of Knowledge, everything passes.  Today you are here, tomorrow you are there.  Today you love somebody, tomorrow you don’t remember their name.  But this is not the way  Gd wants a human being to be.  You can make it in the world being that kind of a sad, broken human being; but under the chuppah, for the first time, Gd gives you a taste of what it is to be really with somebody forever and ever.  Never to die.  And you know what you do?  You take a glass.  According to the world, when you break a glass, it’s over, right?  But you know what you are telling the Kallah?  Not us, not us.  The whole world can break, but you and I, we’re sticking it out forever, forever and ever.

Yerushalayim

You know why Yerushalayim was destroyed?  Because, sadly enough, people hated each other.   Whom do you hate?  You loved them yesterday.  How come you hate them today?  You say, “Okay, yesterday I loved you, today I hate you.”  People who are real human beings, how can you….  If you loved somebody, how can you ever hate them?  And let’s put it this way:  Every human being, the first time you meet them, you have nothing against them, right?  So you love them.  Then why do you hate them after that?  Because it dies.

So, Chosson and Kallah, I want you to swear to each other.  We are living in a world with a lot of broken glasses, broken homes, broken windows, broken doors, broken children, broken Yiddishkeit  [Judaism].  I want to bless you that you should be the ones to rebuild Yerushalayim, because Yerushalayim is only rebuilt by people who can take a broken glass, and build the holy Temple from it. Now Chosson, give me your hand, Kallah, give me your hand… mamash, I want you to promise each other, mamash, I want you to swear to each other, that you will mamash love each other, always.  There is nothing in the world, nothing in the world….

A Taste of the All

This is a Socachover Torah.  I know, Boruch HaShem, both of you are so much into learning.  I’m sure that both of you have heard of the Kotzker Rebbe.  How can you be Jewish without the Kotzker Rebbe, right?  Gevalt!  His son-in-law, the Socachover, says something like this:  Until you are married, you are a private person.  Suddenly, when you get married, two souls together, for the first time you get a taste of all of Israel, of the All.  And you know, maybe until you get married, you don’t know how to build Yerushalayim, because you are just a private little Jew.  But the moment you get married, it is clear to you – you know what all of Israel needs.  We need to get together again.  You know what a building is?  Stones, together.  What is one stone?  Nothing.  Stones together – the most beautiful building.  What’s the Holy Wall?  What is the Holy Temple?  Little stones.  You put them together – it’s so beautiful.  You know, Gd took you two stones and put them together.  Let it be the beginning of the Holy Temple, of the Holy of Holiest.  Lets sing Uvnei Yerushalayim [And rebuild Jerusalem] one more time…. MAZAL TOV, MAZAL TOV.

If You Break a Glass, Your Soulmate will Fix It

Now listen to me, Chosson and Kallah.  Do you know how easy it is to tear people apart?  So easy, so easy.  How much did it take for the snake to get Adam out of Paradise?  One apple!  It took Eve one second to eat it, right?  It takes so long to rebuild the world.  You know the Medrash says it took Gd six days to build the world.  But it takes a second, chas veshalom [Gd forbid], to destroy the world.  So we bless you, mamash, we bless you that from now on, everything  you do should just be rebuilding.  “Uvnei Yerushalayim ir haKodesh” [And rebuild Jerusalem the holy city].  Everything you do should give each other more strength and more holiness.

And one other thing:  Whenever, Gd forbid, you break a little glass, tell your soulmate right on the spot.  Because right now, you are Rebbes to each other,  you know, not only are you rebuilding the holy Temple together.  You know why you break a glass under the chuppah?  Gd lets you know that, even if you sometimes break a glass, don’t worry, your soulmate will fix it.

You know, friends, I want to bless you and all the couples all over the world.  We don’t have the faintest idea what a husband and wife can do for each other.  It’s so deep, it’s the highest, the holiest, the loftiest.  I want to bless you, Chosson and Kallah.  I want to bless you, that you should teach the world what people can do for each other in the deepest, holiest way.

Besides loving each other and being one, you are also two.  Everybody has their talents.  The worst thing is if one of you thinks, I’m better than the other one.

So you promise each other that you’ll always be the same.  As much as everybody has their own talent, but we’re mamash the same.  Whatever I have belongs to you also.

David HaMelech

“Cos yeshuot ehsah” [I will uplift the cup of salvation]. David HaMelech will hold the cup all the time in his hand.  Gevalt, gevalt.  I cannot imagine David HaMelech not coming to this wedding, and not holding this beautiful cup here.

Gd’s Circle

“Yancheni bemaglei tzedek lemaan shemo” [He directs me in paths of righteousness for the sake of His Name].  “Maagal” means “Ribbono Shel Olam, let me be in the circle of tzedek, for Your name’s sake.”  And you know, sometimes we are just human beings, right?  Sometimes we get angry at each other, and this is beautiful too.  Because people who are never getting angry at each other are not normal, right?  Because only in the cemetery are they sitting there having no emotions.  But, thank Gd, if you are alive, one day you are good, and one day you are bad; one day you are disgusting, the next thing you are the most beautiful thing in the world.  Baruch HaShem, that is the way Gd created the world.

Do you know why Gd threw Adam out of Paradise?  Because he thought that a human being has to be holy all the time.  Gd says, “This is not what Paradise is all about.  In Hell you are always the same.  In Paradise, one day you are good, one day you are bad; one day you are holy, one day you are not so holy.  The most important thing is that you are alive, right?”  There was one Rebbe who always said, “The most important thing is, ‘Is steam coming out of your oven?’  If steam is coming out, you are OK, right?  So, lastly, I want to bless you, that heavy steam should come out of you all the time.  And one way or the other, you will cook the right cholent, and everything will be OK.  And here I want to talk to you very straight, very deep.  “Lema’an shemoh” [for the sake of His Name].

Believe that You Can’t Live Without Each Other

You know, when you love someone very much, you cannot imagine the world existing without them, right?   You know what it is to believe in Gd?  It doesn’t mean that I believe that there is one Gd.  I believe that Reagan was the President of the USA.  Not the same, right?  To believe in Gd means I cannot imagine that there is a world without Gd.  I can’t bear it.  You know, to keep Shabbos is not simply that when Shabbos comes, I close my store.  Do you know what, for us Jews, it  means to keep Shabbos?  It’s that I cannot even imagine it can be Sunday without Shabbos, right?  I cannot even imagine Monday without Shabbos.  I cannot be without Shabbos, right?  So I want to bless you; you should be Shabbosdik to each other.  That you cannot imagine the world without each other.  And you know something?  If it’s clear to you that you cannot be without each other, Gd cannot be without you either.  Because the Ishbitzer Rebbe says that the greatest, highest, deepest, the most glorious Gd revelation is, when Gd lets you know that He needs you.  You know it’s very easy to serve Gd.  But it’s so hard because I don’t know if Gd really needs me.  Yeah, I know I’m a Jew.  I’m supposed to put on tefillin.  Does Gd really need me to put on tefillin in the morning?  I have trouble putting them on.  The moment it’s clear to me, mamash, Gd the One, the only One, mamash needs me to put on tefillin, I’m jumping out of my skin, right?

There was this Kabalist.  He was fasting from Shabbos to Shabbos.  And then he came home, and Friday night everything by him was 12.  Because the 12 Lechem Hapanim are the 12 showbreads, right?  So Friday night, he ate 12 challahs, after not eating for a whole week, right?  He’d drink 12 cups of wine for Kiddush, and eat 12 challahs.  And everything was 12:  12 soups, 12 portions of fish, 12 portions of meat, 12 desserts, right?  So can you imagine, I mean, physically?  OK, he’s the greatest Kabalist, but physically, he still has his kishkes like you and me, right?  Imagine how he felt when he went to sleep.  At exactly 12 o’clock, he would hear a voice from Heaven saying, whatever his name was, they called him by his name.  And they said, “Please get up to learn Torah, because it’s midnight…”

Listen to this!  He would say, “Ribbono Shel Olam, Master of the world, I’m so tired.  Tell me the truth, can’t the world continue without my learning tonight?”  And he would mamash hear Gd’s voice saying, “My most precious son, I promise you, the world cannot exist without your learning Torah.”  Can you imagine?  I want to bless you that, not only do I want to bless you to love each other, but also I bless you to tell each other every second, mamash, that you can’t live without each other, mamash.  If I can make a deal with you under the chuppah, that every morning when you wake up, that you will tell each other that you cannot live without each other;  and every night before you go to sleep, I want you to swear to each other that you will tell each other that you cannot live without each other.  And then I’ll bless you that your children will also tell you that they cannot be without their father and their mother, because so many children think that they could do so much better without them.  I bless you that your children should always, always need you.

How Could I Live Without Being a Jew?

And I bless you:  Your house should be filled with holiness, filled with sforim.  Mamash, I bless you to have the deepest, most glorious library in the world.  I don’t mean a library of books.  I mean sforim, sforim.  Do you know what sefer means?  Sefer comes from the words “Sapir veyalom” [jewels, shining].  Do you know that a book written by Gd, it’s not just a book, it’s shining.  It fills the whole room with light.  And I bless you, before you go to sleep, you should look at your books, and say, “Ribbono Shel Olam, how could I live without these holy sforim?  How could I live without Your Holy Torah?  How could I live without being a Jew?  How could I live without being Your servant?”

Do you know why people get divorced?  Because there was one Amalek person standing under the chuppah who said, “I bet it won’t last.”

Your Love Letter

Listen Kallah, can you imagine what kind of love letters Avraham is writing to Sara?  I don’t know where they are, you know, but I can give you a little hint.  They are written right here on this paper [the Ketubah].  Because this is the love letter that a Jewish man writes to his wife.  It is the deepest, deepest, holiest, most exalted, most everlasting, most deepest, deepest, deepest, deepest love in the world.  And Chosson, I want you to know that our Holy Rabbis, when they put the words together, it was not just in general, words which will be good and beautiful for all married couples to write to each other.  They mamash prophetically saw every Jew who is getting married, and they mamash looked deep into your neshama.  And these words of the Ketubah are written from the deepest depths of your soul to the deepest depths of your Kallah’s neshama.  And we could never put these holy words together.  And of course, it goes without saying, not only the words, but also the letters, have the deepest, deepest Kabalistic meanings in the world, the deepest, most awesome….

Good Eyes

And maybe some of you remember:  According to our deepest traditions, if you would have good eyes, you can see in the ketubah the names of your children, grandchildren, great grandchildren, everyone, till Mashiach is coming.  It’s all written there.  I bless you some day to see it.  So Mazal Tov.

Speaking Only Good

Listen, Kallah and Chosson, I want to tell you something.  Reb Mendele Vorker never spoke.  And his son-in-law was just awesome, so, one of the great Rabbis was in his house for two weeks and they asked him, “So, how was it to be in Reb Mendele’s house?”  His son-in-law answers, “Do you know how poor he is?  He doesn’t have a single penny.  Do you know how hard it would be to squeeze out 20,000 rubles from him?  But it’s much harder to get one bad word out of him.”  Well, anyway, Chosson, we don’t have to worry about you.  Kallah, I envy you.  Your father is Avraham and your mother is Sara.  Gevalt, gevalt.  Chosson, do you know what kind of a girl you are marrying?  From the most noble, noble, noble, noble father and mother.  Mamash, the most noble.  And when you look at her, you know that she’s a princess.  She is.  Kallah, you are a princess of all princesses.  There are no two ways about it.

Be Real to Each Other

Now listen to me, Kallah, do you know what your Chosson promises you?  That he will work and he will treasure and keep you precious; that he will support you and sustain you like a Jewish man is given the power from Heaven to do.  You know, Chosson, it’s not just promises in this book, in this letter here.  It’s not only written by you.  It’s also written by our holy Rabbis, and they give you the power to do it.  I’m sure you feel it.  You are suddenly a new man, right?  Mamash, do you know what the Socachover says?  The moment a person marries a woman, like his soul expands millions of miles, right?  Mamash, you are not a private person anymore.  You have the power to take care of another neshama, right?  And you, Kallah, have the power to take care of his neshama.  Unbelievable!  But the only thing is, it says “bekushta” [real].  It has to be for real; and I bless you to always be real to each other in the deepest, deepest way.

You know, Chosson, they asked the Alter Rebbe, “What is that, which we call neshama, what is that which we call a soul?”  So he says, “That part of me to which Gd is most real.”  So I want you to be real to each other.  This is the blessing.

OK, let’s keep on singing.  I need all the musicians because the ketubah needs all the harmony that there is, because this is the essence of shalom bayit [marital harmony].  So we need harmony.

With Your Bride, You are the Richest

Do you hear me, Chosson? Everything you have is responsible for this marriage.  Even the shirt on your back.  You know what it means?  How do you feel without a shirt?  You are the poorest man in the world, right?  You know what the Holy Rabbis bless you?  That it should be clear to you that, without your Kallah, you are the poorest man in the world.  And with her, you are the richest man in the world.

And you know, it says the shirt on your shoulders.  I translated incorrectly before.  It’s shoulders, not your back, your shoulders.  You know, sometimes you think, how can I carry marriage? It’s too heavy.  I want you to know, Gd gives you new shoulders.

The Joy of Your Marriage

OK, now comes the most important thing. You know, when you learn something, you say, “I have it at the tips of my fingers,” right?  So, you know something?  You’ll ask a person, “Are you happy?” And if they have to think for one and a half seconds to answer, it means that they are not so happy, right?  We wish for you that the joy of your marriage should be at your finger tips.  Mamash, Kallah, we bless you and your Chosson that people should look at you and they shouldn’t even have to ask if you are happy.  You should be shining from one corner of the world to the other.  But, if they ask you, you say, here is my hand, I can guarantee to you I’m happy.  We bless you, you should be able to swear all your life, that you are the happiest couple in the world.

I want to bless you with something more.  I want to bless you, that your children should swear by the living Gd, that you are the best parents in the world.  I want to bless all the couples here the same thing.  All of us.

OK, witnesses, all of you give the handkerchief to me.  Lechaim!  Everything is accepted and finalized in Heaven.  Mazal tov!  And now, the witnesses start writing….

The Ketubah Gives You Strength

OK chevra, now let’s get very, very close for the seven holy blessings.  Now listen to me, Kallah.  I have something very special to tell you.  You know, I have never worked for Western Union so far, but now I am working for Gd’s Western Union.  I have the most beautiful love letter for you, written by your holiest man in the world, by your soulmate, signed by your best friends in the world, and composed with the highest, deepest prophecy.  So we bless you, Kallah, that this ketubah – letter, whenever you look at it, should give you so much strength, so much holiness.

Kallah, you know the world as much as I do, as much as anybody.  It’s so hard to be a good wife in this world.  And there is a whole world which seems against everything holy and beautiful.  We bless you that this parchment here should give you all the vitamins, all the energy you need, until Mashiach is coming, and after, to be the absolutely most, most, most, most loving wife in the world.  Mazal tov, Mazal tov.

The Ishbitzer Rebbe says that the greatest, highest, deepest, the most glorious Gd revelation is, when Gd lets you know that He needs you.

Children Need You

Chosson and Kallah, I bless you….  Maybe some people bless you that you should always sleep at night.  I bless you that you should always be woken up by your children at night.  And I bless you that whenever your children are crying, you should say, “Master of the world, how could I ever thank You?  What a privilege that somebody needs me so late at night.” You know what is so beautiful about children?  They have nobody else, they just have you.  It’s so holy.  We bless you with the most beautiful children.  We bless you to be the absolutely most blissful husband and wife.  We bless you with everything: MAZAL TOV, MAZAL TOV, MAZAL TOV.

Training to be a Parent

I want you to know, Chosson, our holy Rabbis tell us why our three fathers and four mothers were called “fathers and mothers.”  There were a lot of fathers and mothers in the world.  So Chassidut says like this; Avraham Avinu, from the first moment of his life, was always training to be a father.  He had nothing else in his head.  He was thinking, “Ribbono Shel Olam [Master of the world], I want to have children who will be Your servants.”  And our mother Sara, from the moment she could think, all that she could think about, all that she was ever thinking about, was, “Ribbono Shel Olam, give me children, so I will be a good mother to them.”

The question is not how much you love each other.  The question is how much you love each other when you aren’t getting along with each other.

There is Only One Truth

The truth is always one, right?  Only when you get into lying, does everybody say something else.  So imagine if there would be one ounce of truth in the world, then there would be peace in the world.  And the closeness between a husband and a wife depends on how much truth there is between them.  If there is truth, they’re always one.  If they lie to each other….  The more they lie, the more they become two.

Choice

So since this is a holy wedding, I’d like to bless you holy Chosson and holy Kallah with a little bit of emes, a little bit of truth.  You know the sad thing is, the Baal Shem Tov says that nature doesn’t lie.  Dogs don’t lie, a bee doesn’t lie, a fly doesn’t lie.  It’s only human beings, strangely enough, crazily enough, who do.  Gd has given us the privilege to lie.  Because there are two kinds of truth.  The truth of a tree is very holy, but it doesn’t reach that height, because it has no free choice.  But if I have free choice to lie, yet I tell you the truth, that means my truth comes from a higher level.  You know, imagine you ask me for a favor and I have no choice but to do you this favor.  From how much depth does my favor come?  But if I could not do you the favor, and I still do you the favor, it’s real.  Much more real.  Imagine if Gd would have no choice but to create the world, what kind of a world would it be?  But the world was created by complete freedom of choice.  He could create the world or He could not create the world.  He created the world.

You know the Medrash said, if people were born knowing who they have to marry in this world, it would be truth, right?  But that kind of truth would not come from the depths of the soul, because they had no choice.  The kind of truth of free choice comes from the deepest place in the world. 

The holiness of a wedding is because most of the time I only have my free choice, but here there’s two free choices when two people meet.  Let’s say in the morning I have free choice to put on tefillin or not to put on tefillin, right?  So that’s one free choice, right?  But a wedding is two people coming together with free choice.  Mamash, a very deep thing.

Living Truth

I want to learn a little bit from the Holy Baal Shem Tov on truth.  I just want to bless you with it.  The first thing is, a person has to make up his mind, “I want to tell the truth, and I don’t ever want to lie.”  And then Gd will help him, and whatever he does will be true.  Because we always think, “I’m just telling a lie, but my life is truth.”  It’s not true. If I utter words of lies, then I become a liar.  My life becomes a lie, and even the truth I say is also a lie.  You know, you don’t have to lie to lie.  Sometimes you tell the truth and you’re lying.  So therefore the Baal Shem Tov says if, mamash, you’re strong, you don’t ever want to lie, then everything you do becomes real.

This is very deep.  Anything you do for the sake of Gd can not be done with your lying.  Because, let’s say, for instance, when I’m doing something for the sake of Gd, that means I’m giving Gd a gift.  When you give somebody a gift, it has to have a little package, a little wrapping, right?  The gift, when you do something for Gd, the wrapping has to be in truth.  Has to be in truth.

Emes

The Holy Baal Shem Tov says that whenever he has a chance to do a little bit of lying, whenever he wants to lie, he thinks of the letters.  The letters of emet should stand in front of you.  You know, just thinking of the letters aleph, mem, tav will give you strength.  So the Baal Shem Tov says, let the word emes be in front of you all the time.  Mamash, walk around saying “emes, emes, emes, emes.” It will get into you.  “Emes, emes, emes, emes.”  Let there be truth in the world.  Let there be truth in our hearts.  Let there be truth everywhere.  It takes a lifetime to get to the truth.  Emes, emes,  emes, emes.

Soul Truth

Then the Baal Shem Tov says: a lot of people don’t lie in their words, but they’re lying in their thoughts and they’re lying deep down in their souls.  So he says you should mamash be ready to die, Gd forbid, when you lie to yourself and your soul.

It’s much easier not to lie to people; not lying to yourself is the hardest thing in the world.  It says there is nothing in the world Gd says to keep away from.  He just says don’t do it.  You know, let’s say, not to eat pig; it’s forbidden to eat it.  But Gd doesn’t say keep away from it:  He says it’s forbidden to eat it, right?  Keep Shabbos.  It doesn’t say keep away from not keeping Shabbos….    But for lying, Gd is begging me, please don’t lie.  On a simple level it means, you know, if I had a friend who is lying, I’d say he’s lying and I’m not lying.  But if you’re close to people who are lying….

Reb Zussa says something very deep.  One word of lying makes you a stranger to Gd.  It’s hard to talk to a stranger.  With every lie you utter, you become a stranger to Gd – the most horrible thing in the world.  Can you imagine if the greatest thing in the world becomes a stranger to you?

The Holiest Thing is Truth

Then he says something very beautiful.  This, too, I want to wish you.  Holy Chosson and Kallah, imagine children when they’re born.  Who teaches children to lie?  Their parents.  The Baal Shem Tov was very strong.  He said,  “People, don’t teach your children to lie, because if you don’t teach your children how to lie, it would never occur to them to lie.”  Children lying?  How can anybody lie, you know?  You have to teach them how to lie…  So, he says, “Mamash, please, I’m begging you.  And you not only have to tell your children not to lie, you have to tell them all the time that the holiest thing is the truth.  Get it in to them.  Then they’ll grow up and they will tell the truth.”

Then he says something else very beautiful.  If you’re honest, then you won’t be proud, and you won’t be arrogant.  Because the whole thing of arrogance comes from lying to yourself, right?  I wish you a lot of emes.

Hidden Truth

I want to wish you one more thing.  There is an open truth and a hidden truth.  You know, sometimes, it’s so deep, so true, its completely interior.  This is the deepest, holiest truth in the world.   The most hidden thing in the world is   Gd.  Another most hidden thing in the world is to love people.  Because it’s so true.  Because anything that is so true, is hidden.  It’s hidden, it’s very holy.

Now Chosson, a very holy thing.  You have to put the veil over the Kallah, because we want that, between you and your Kallah, should only be the truth.  But on the level of hidden truth, everything has to be hidden.  Everything has to be holy.

You know, friends, a lot of people think they are servants of Gd, but everything is so open and they brag about it.  And they make it their business to let you know they’re religious.  I’m this, I’m that.  And it’s the truth.  But it’s a very sad kind of truth.  It’s not Gd’s truth.  It’s not deep truth.  It’s not holy truth. It’s not hidden truth. So we bless you holy Chosson, holy Kallah, that your house should be the holiest.

You know, remember examples from all the stories:  the dynasty of Ropshitz was hidden; with Reb Mendele Vorker, everything was hidden, mamash, hidden.  A baby is crying when it’s born.  Because the baby, before it’s born,  was hidden away.  And this is the holiest thing, to be hidden.  Then, suddenly, it comes into a world where everything is open.  So the baby cries.  I want to wish you that your house should have the taste of this holy, holy, hiddeness.

When you go to the chuppah, you are not only becoming the best husband in the world, you are also becoming the best father in the world.  At that very second.

Receiving from the Heart

I want you to know something, Chosson: I’m sure you want to marry her, but I want you to summon your whole ratson [will].  Mamash, I want you to want it, to want it, to want it, to want it, to want it in the deepest, deepest, mamash the deepest possible human way.  And Kallah, I want you to take your whole neshama, your whole heart, your whole life, and mamash to be mikabel [receive] this ring, not only in your hands and your fingers.  I want you to receive this ring from the deepest depths of your neshama [soul].  From the deepest depths of your heart.

Samech

The letter of Chodesh Kislev [the month of Kislev] is samech “O.”  Mamash a ring has the shape of the Hebrew letter samech.

Reb Leibele Eiger says: the Zohar HaKodesh says we marry our holy wives with a ring because it’s the letter samech, “Somech HaShem lekol hanoflim” [Gd supports the ones who fall].  We bless you, you should keep each other up, keep each other alive, keep Yiddishkeit alive, keep the Torah alive, keep your children alive.  We bless you that every person you meet, you should keep them alive.

Everybody knows that the letter samech is the fifteenth letter in the Aleph Bais.  Hamisha Asar Be’av [the fifteenth day of the month of Av], on the fifteenth letter of the Aleph Bais, is the day when everybody is getting married.  “B’nos Yisroel yoitsos” [the daughters of Israel go out].  Because it’s the letter, samech and this is the day when mamash the Ribbono Shel Olam [Master of the World] gives every young man a ring to marry his holy bride.

It says “Min hameitsar korosi kah;” Ribbono Shel Olam, I feel so bad, I’m so low, I’m so mamash depressed.  “Anoni bamerchav kah.” Ribbono Shel Olam, answer me with the fifteenth letter of the Aleph Bais.  Give me a little samech so I marry my soulmate.  So then I’ll feel so good, I’ll be mamash so wide.

The part of me which is most honest is my feet.  Sometimes you go to a wedding, and your mind is going slow, but your feet want to be there quickly, because it is for real. The couple really loves each other.